


I'll be Your Safety

by thankspizzaman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 12:12:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thankspizzaman/pseuds/thankspizzaman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of the time you're okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll be Your Safety

Most of the time, you’re okay.

You can silence the thoughts in your head that speak to your deepest fears. You can forget all the doubts that swirl through your mind in the darkness of the night. You can force all the guilt and fear down until you can’t feel their presence. You can forget everything (the fire, the hunters, your uncle) and just focus on the task at hand, which is protecting your pack (and the rest of Beacon Hills) from the kanima.

In the daylight, you can keep up the charade of “the-big-bad-alpha-who-doesn’t-care-for-anything-except-his-own-greed.” It’s easy to keep up appearances in the blinding light and judgmental stares of everyone around you. It’s when the sun goes down that everything you tried to erase from your memory surfaces, drowning you in feelings you wished didn’t exist.

In the still of the night, the deafening silence of the world around you as its occupants dream away, is when the human side of you appears (oh, how you hate your human side). As the owls hoot, you drown in the suffocating emotions (there’s too many to ignore; it’s as though they’re clawing at your insides, leaving scars not even your werewolf healing abilities can heal) that refuse to go away.

So you give in. You give in to all the stubborn thoughts that that are dying to make themselves known. You give in to all the doubts, the guilt, the fears you don’t dare to acknowledge during the day. You let the thoughts swirl and swirl around in your head, breaking down your façade bit by bit. You let all your subconscious fears attack your self-esteem until you suffocate from the self-loathing thoughts.

You’re so emerged in your self-pitying that you don’t hear the approaching footsteps (another reason why you don’t deserve to be an alpha) until the owner sits down next to you. Turning towards the unexpected (but perhaps not unwanted) visitor, expecting to see one of the teenagers you turned (stupid, so stupid; how could you do that to innocent, unsuspecting kids?); instead, you see a lanky, hyperactive sixteen year old. You wonder how he knew you were up here briefly before remembering this is his roof you’re sitting on. You realize something as you hold his knowing gaze; you realize that maybe you’re not the only person who is hurting.

You remember that he lost his mother a few years back and you realize that you’re not the only person who has felt pain and guilt and fear before; he has too. The epiphany of not being alone dulls the pain and frees up the tightening in your chest. It’s nice to know someone understands what you’re going through because they’ve been through it before (maybe they’re still experiencing it).

Still the uncertainty surfaces; since when does Stiles care for your mental well-being (since the start, your wolf side whispers… you ignore it)? As far as you knew, Stiles hated you for turning those innocent teenagers into werewolves and getting him mixed up in all your shit (no he doesn’t… he loves you; he is your mate, after all). As if sensing your hesitance, Stiles wordlessly grabbed your hand and held it in his own. The small gesture calms the raging emotions within you until only one remained; content.

Neither of you bother to speak; instead, you just look out into the scenery, holding hands. It’s cold outside but you don’t notice as the warmth from your intertwined hands spread through your body, effectively warming you up. A heavy weight dropping on your shoulders interrupts your thoughts as you realize you’re comforting him as much as he is comforting you (in the future, you’ll insist it was a grimace at having someone so close to you).

You don’t know how long you have stayed on the rooftop but you can’t manage to bring yourself to care. You realize that as long as you can have that undeniable warmth of your bodies are pressed into one another, the rest of the world and your obligations can wait. In the silence, you think back to the vet’s warning about trust. You’re sure now that he wasn’t talking about Scott but rather his hyperactive best friend. Instead of the werewolf who had betrayed you by teaming up with the hunters, you should trust his best friend (the same best friend who saved your ass a couple of times). And sitting there, with his head on your shoulder, you can’t help but think you already do.


End file.
